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There’s no place like home

Death impacts us all differently. I would never compare my grief to someone else’s and we all have our own way of coping.  Writing about it helps me, I rarely publish what I write, don’t feel obliged to read this post – I needed to do this for me. Most days I try to remember all the happy times but the sad creeps in there too. I know I’m still grieving and I have a long way to go and I accept that.

I’m feeling home sick, I’m missing everything and everyone.  I really miss my dad and my brother-in-law.  I miss them everyday but even more so on Sundays and when birthdays roll around. Greg’s (my bil) birthday would have been on September 15.  

I think about him often, he had a tremendous impact on my life . He loved music.  So as a fitting tribute on his birthday I went to see a Celtic band and most of the band members were from Newfoundland.  I had a feeling all night that I wasn’t really alone – ok of course I wasn’t alone there were lots of other people there but I had been thinking about Greg all day and a little voice inside my head kept saying, he’s enjoying this, he knows all the songs, could sing every word.  He’s ok, you’re ok, enjoy the night, enjoy the music.  One of the songs that night was about the Northern lights and wouldn’t you know it I saw the Northern Lights on the way home. This was only my second time in 4 years that I could plainly see them, guiding me.

Sundays are especially tough days for me, as I don’t think I ever missed a Sunday that my dad didn’t call or vice versa. I can’t believe he has been gone for 9 months already.  Some days I want to scream it’s NOT alright – I’m NOT alright!! My heart aches a type of pain I can’t put into words but thank goodness it passes.

Whenever I’m really sad and can’t find a way out of it, I usually head to the ocean (no matter what the weather) and sit on the beach. The roar of the water, the smell of the air, it somehow calms me down and brings me peace.

I have no ocean to run to, no lake or river near by (you see I’m landlocked here in the West)- but somehow just the thought of it and all the memories it brings of spending countless hours walking the beach with my dad looking for beach glass, neither of us ever looking up until the other would shout out what color they found, makes it a little better.

I  do have pictures and memories, lots of pictures and memories and a little boy named after his great-grandfather, Henry. Many people tell me all the time how much he looks like my father and I find I catch my breath from time to time when he acts a certain way or has a certain look on his face and then I know exactly what they mean.

I know, you found God’s grace
In a far, far , far, better place

I know your watching
My tear drops falling
It’s not you going
It’s me not knowing

Who I’m gonna call on Sunday
Who I’m gonna pour my heart out too
Who I’m gonna call on Sunday
Now that heaven has called on you

Read more: Johnny Reid – Tell Me Margaret Lyrics | MetroLyrics

When I think of them both – I feel at home….

 

Real Neat Blog Award

I want to say thank you to You Can Always Start Now (check her out!!) for nominating me for the Real Neat Blog Award.  I enjoy being asked questions that make me think….

neat-blog-award

The Rules…

1. Post the Award logo and answer the questions asked by the person who nominated you.
2. Thank the person who nominated you in your post and link to their blog.
3. Nominate and link to some bloggers you’d like to see respond.
4. Create 7 questions for your nominees to answer & let them know they are nominated in a comment on their blog.

The questions I was asked (and my answers):

  1. What are you currently reading? The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.
  2. What book(s) or courses are on your 2017 list to take? I want to learn to do body waxing and pedicures.  I also plan on taking a course on chalk painting.
  3. If you could travel anywhere in the world where would it be? I’d like to visit the European countries of Austria, Czech Republic, Hungary, Slovakia, Slovenia, Liechtenstein, Germany, Italy, Switzerland.
  4. What is one thing you would tell your younger self? Start saving money from age 20 onward, no matter how little you might have, always pay yourself first.
  5. How/why did you get into blogging? I moved across country and used it as a way to stay in contact with family and friends and it grew into a passion.
  6. What is your favorite decorating accessory? Mirrors.
  7. What are your favorite Instagram accounts right now? Twisted Vintage Home Accessories, East Coast Lobster Rope Mats, You Can Start Now

The 7 Questions I am asking those I nominate:

  1. How many social media accounts do you have?
  2. Which of the above do you think is the most bang for the buck regarding blogging?
  3. What is your favorite tradition at Christmas?
  4. Are you usually late, early or just on time?
  5. If you could do anything OR wish for anything that would come true, what would that be?
  6. Whose the person you admire the most (dead or alive) and why?
  7. What photo editing program would you recommend?

Nominations … I nominate the following for the Award :

The Virtual Stylist

Anika’s DIY Life

twelveOeight

coffeecluster

Part of my story and the things I’m grateful for…

I started this post almost a year ago but didn’t know whether I should share it or not or if anyone would really want to read it but I decided to update and finish it and take a chance and do this for me!

Please bear with me as I pour my heart out.

BUT if you really don’t want to read the whole thing, just skip to the end where I summarize and tell you about my lessons learned!

  • got fed up with life early in 2013 – needed a life change
  • ended a relationship that we both really tried hard to figure out
  • moved 5000 kms away from everyone I knew and loved in October 2013
  • had no job for the first four months, cleaned apartments to have a roof over my head
  • the people (friends) who you thought would support your decision didn’t – OUCH!!
  • Christmas of 2013 was the lowest point I had reached in quite sometime (a year after the death of someone I held very close to my heart and still miss). I had none of the “usual” things surrounding me that I took for granted – started to think I made a mistake and was contemplating my place in this big wide world
  • eventually found a job in a similar field to what I left behind but I was miserable almost every single day and the commute was 2 hours 20 minutes per day -ugh!
  • found new love and started a new life BUT nothing seemed easy (much turmoil in this relationship but that’s for another day)
  • one of the people who kept in touch (and still does almost daily) is a true inspiration and encouraged me because she told me she admires me and believes in me – POWERFUL WORDS that I needed and I don’t think she realized just how much – this I am forever grateful for
  • I had some very bad luck with my health for what seemed like almost an entire year (mid 2014- mid 2015), a surgery that went wrong, three trips to hospital by ambulance, two that resulted in overnight stays and another surgery
  • I needed to take charge of my life and get things back on track and find things that made me happy
  • thanks to the encouragement of my dear friend I started blogging again after a long hiatus – changed the name to be more reflective of who I am today
  • when I moved I liquidated most of the things I had collected, then when I got settled into my new life I started missing some of those things, especially the things that bring back good memories
  • I slowly started to collect vintage items again, it sort of turned into an obsession, which turned into an on-line vintage FB and Etsy selling business
  • I changed jobs after 15 months and it was the best move for me, my commute now is only 17 minutes each way

Ramblings about Facebook from the Surly Mermaid

It has been quite awhile since I’ve heard from my friend the Surly Mermaid. The expressions expressed are hers and hers alone but I do enjoy providing a forum for her to express herself.

Facebook Status- The Irritation Game

I have been known to delete Facebook “friends” over their stupid Facebook status updates.  I can’t believe all the incessant whining . It gets to be very annoying.

Really, there is no need to post all your perceived medical drama on line because all the world has already figured out that you are a hypochondriac.  Seriously, stop posting all your problems because I am embarrassed for you. There needs to be an eye roll button. Charlie Brown definitely had it right…

Next comes the “links”.  All the stupid “links” looking for “likes”.  I want Facebook to have a “dislike” button.  Oh yeah,  wouldn’t that be awesome but I am sure I would be accused of being a cyber bully because I would use that one  waay too much.

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